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Mike is happy.

DAD: “Ugh, I look so unattractive in this shirt.”
KID: “It’s okay, Dad. You’re already married.”

KID: “Dad, I wish you were a dog.”
DAD: “Why’s that?”
KID: “Because then I’d have a dog.”

DAD: “I wanted to put a big peace sign on the side of the house, but Mom vetoed it.”
KID: “Good. We’re not hippies, Dad.”

KID: “In 1978, God hadn’t made me yet. I was still a cloud.”

DAD: “Do you know where Mom keeps that black pot we use to steam vegetables?”
KID: “You mean the one I used to throw up in?”
DAD: “Nevermind.”

DAD: “… and that’s the moral behind the Wizard of Oz. Nothing’s more important than home.”
KID: “Not even sunscreen?”

DAD: “Goodnight, you Prince of Rhode Island.”
KID: “Goodnight, you King of New England.”

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